Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Six to One



I have been laughing about this since day one. We are, by all accounts, planning a non-traditional and, more importantly, short ceremony. We are thinking that it should last somewhere between 10 and 20 minutes. Despite that, we plan to have a 14 person wedding party. We're definitely going to make the photographers earn it. The procession will probably take longer than the ceremony itself. To put it in perspective - factoring in attrition and no-shows (yes, I have friends who bail last minute), 10% of our 'expected' attendance will be part of the wedding party. You read that right...10%

Nothing says the holidays like organizing a wedding party. Thankfully, I am much, MUCH better at it than H.
Of the 14 people in the wedding party - 7 have been asked. Of those 7 - I have asked 6. Do the math. Not only that, when H did finally ask somebody (her good girlfriend from IULaw), she totally stole my build-up and speech!! (In fairness, I did get author's credit).

That said, this decision was difficult. How do you fit so many important people into one of the more seminal events of your life. I have three brothers. They were a shoe-in. My little brother is my best man - which I am excited about. He and I have really grown close since my Dad died in 2005. We watch lots of Arsenal soccer together. I have really enjoyed getting to know him these last few years and I am proud of the man he has become. I asked him several weeks ago while we were over at he and his wife's house for dinner and drinks. I asked my older brothers over the Christmas holiday. I am very excited that they each agreed to do this for and with me. After that, while I was in Indianapolis for the second part of Christmas, I asked H's step-brother - who I am a big fan of and H has become very close to. He is a great guy, who is family to both H and I. These were the easy decisions.

For the other three spots - I decided to look at my life. I have been honored to be in every wedding that I have stood up in. Unfortunately, circumstances disallow me to ask each of these friends to stand with me on my wedding day. If I could, I would. That has been the most difficult part: the realization that I cannot have every important person in my life up there with me. I know that these people, having been married themselves, understand, but that doesn't make it any less difficult.


I have asked 2 of the 3 (so, if you're reading this, keep your trap shut until I finish this). Each of these individuals are extremely important to me. Each have had a profound impact on my life and each are close friends who I trust and value. They are colleagues, confidants, peers and men who I measure myself against and always come up short. They have been there with me at my lowest, celebrated with me at my best, and have kept me grounded when I stray off path. I am proud to have each of them in my life.


So, thats done. Sappy enough? The good news for these guys, is that I am a low maintenance groom. I eschew tuxes in favor of black suits - that way, they can smoke em if they got em, or they can go out and buy one and use it forever. My bachelor party will not raise any eyebrows of their significant others. There will be no hookers, strippers or suck for a buck tee-shirts. I don't see us on Rush and Division - or anywhere close, actually. I'm old and boring...I'll probably be in bed by 10:30.


Maybe I'll update when I add that final piece. But two things are for sure - I am honored that these guys have all agreed to stand up there with me and, 2.) H has some catching up to do.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Return of the Mack

I have been confused for a lot of things - a poor man's Baldwin brother, amongst them - but nobody has ever, EVER confused me with someone who likes to work out or enjoys being healthy. I do not, as they say, count calories. I enjoy wings and beer and, given the opportunity, I would eat 2 sausage egg mcmuffins each day for breakfast. I have been fortunate. Genetics, until this point, have kept me looking trim(ish) and I run - so, that has helped keep me healthy.

Naturally, in May - exactly 6 years from the last time I laced up the shoes - I decided to lace up my old soccer boots and play a recreational game of soccer with some friends while H was out of town. It took me longer to find those shoes in the closet than it did to get hurt playing. Within approximately 10 minutes of entering the fray, I had heard my knee snap, crackle and pop twice. I will blame the field turf - but I know its just me being out of shape.

This has kind of hurt the running program I was on. Besides 2 months of rehab, I kind of hate running now - its too cold. My knee hurts and if I hit a funny patch of sidewalk (common where we live because the City doesn't care about our neighborhood), its back to the doctor. Which, despite my fancy insurance, I am prone to want to avoid altogether.

Now that I am engaged, I have started the prolonged and completely necessary (yet dreaded) wedding diet. 9 months in advance (actually 10 months - I started in December, right before Christmas). To make matters more interesting - we joined a gym. This way, I get to look like I am insane on a precor machine and break the record for amount of sweat emanating from my forearms and fastest time to target heart rate.

I have always thought that wedding diets were funny in a sort of ridiculous way. When my engaged friends would house a couple of stouffers french bread pizzas, I would always ask whether it was part of their wedding diet. More often than not, the honeymoon would offset any progress made during the dieting period (normally 2 months of work preceding the wedding). Why, then, would I subject myself to the same ridicule? What is the end game here?

The answer is simple, really. I am as narcisstic as they come. I want to look good in that wedding suit. If I decide to take my shirt off on our honeymoon, I don't want to confirm what the Euros already think about Americans. I want to be skinny again. Not high school skinny - 6'2" - 160 Lbs. - but something between that and now. The wedding has given me a perfect opportunity to concentrate on this - all in the name of the wedding. This way, I am a hero. But, after 3 weeks, I have kind of decided that the wedding is just the launching off point, and, the way I reckon, its a much better reason to get and stay healthy than a cop-out New year's resolution (that piece of advice was courtesy of two meatheads while we all took a steam last night)(by the way - the gym is straight-up effing packed right now!).

Will I keep the good habits I am cultivating as part of this diet plan - which really boils down to eating better, exercising 4-5 times a week and actually spending some time in the gym? I plan to. Not just for the wedding, but for H and I's life as well - a heart attack at 50 would be kind of unfair to her.

Monday, January 5, 2009

2009 - this is our year


Happy new year's loyal reader.

H and I drove to St. Louis to visit some friends from my grad school days for the New Year festivities. As we sped down I-55 (Note - I was within 1 minute of my stated ETA - H was impressed and has a new found respect for me), we decided to dedicate some time to our resolutions for 2009 - "our year" as we have been affectionately calling it (every chance I get).


And it is our year - besides all of our ways to better ourselves individually (to be discussed in next post) - this year will be the one that we remember - the year that we were married - the year that we made it through all the stress and anxiety of the planning process - the year that we officially drive our mothers (and M - our planner) crazy with millions of phone calls, texts and e-mails - the year that we really get to celebrate our relationship with so many of our friends, family and loved ones - selfishly, this year, is about us: showers, bachelor/ette parties, power chugging cuervo while wearing a tee-shirt that suggests that there may be some suck for a buck, registering for the wedding gifts (though, it seems I may have lost out on my play to get a registry at Best Buy)(Willow for the wooden deer head, thankfully, is still in play); and for H - she'll have dress anxiety, dress fittings, learning the appropriate way to let someone know that they may not be invited to our wedding, more dress anxiety, something borrowed, something blue..., and all the other things that really make-up her wedding day.


I have said it on several occasions throughout this blog - I am on pins and needles and cannot wait for September 12, 2009 to get here.


Its our year, afterall.