This situation plays itself out at least once a month - H will go out with her girlfriends for a bite after work. She will promise that she will be home at a reasonable time. That she'll call if she is going to be late. That she is only going to have one, maybe two glasses of wine....
I know better.
Almost without fail, H doesn't call or text and comes home 4-5 hours later than originally anticipated, reeking of booze and red wine, drunk as a high school sophomore and bearing Mexican food (which is kind of endearing when you think that she truly believes that I want a sober burrito at 2 AM on a Wednesday - 4 hours after I went to bed)(yes, I go to bed at 10 PM).
I know exactly who to blame: H's bestie "Midge." Who is now H's Maid of Honor (that's 2 of 7 bridesmaids asked, if you're counting at home).
Midge has been around as long as H and I have been together. She was H's partner in crime the night we met - the falsetto to H's alto in their bar rendition of "Wind Beneath my Wings." She was H's sounding board and biggest cheerleader in the beginning of our relationship (the person who was on the receiving end of H's "Best.Date.Ever." text message) and has been a consistent positive influence in H's life since they met at work several years ago and a constant presence in our relationship.
If there was a"bestfriendfinder.com" which asked a series of questions and then gave you matches based on your answers, H and Midge would be 100% compatible BFFF. They watch movie awards shows together via text (H will not say a word for 2-3 hours while this is going on)(though, you will hear her snicker every couple of minutes). They are each other's de facto karaoke partners and the only person in the room that gets the punchline. I sometimes think that these two would make a fun variety show (kind of like if Jessica and Nick's Christmas special was clever and loud and filled with drunk on champagne singing). I would at least watch the first episode (I can't say the same for the new Rosie O'Donnell adventure).
We watched "Step-brothers" Sunday night. Its probable that this is how H and Midge became best friends-Not that they hated each other or hit each other with aluminum bats, but, rather, one day they got to talking and they realized that they have EVERYTHING in common. Its kind of endearing really. Nobody (not even me) makes H laugh like Midge does. And that's kind of the point. I am so thankful that H has a friend like this - someone that challenges her but is totally supportive of the decisions - whether bad or good - that H makes; someone who respects our relationship and instead of getting jealous, has got to know me and has let their relationship grow with me a part of the equation - too often, I think, friendships suffer when a person gets involved in a serious relationship. That hasn't happened here (I hope). Above all, I am thankful that H has someone she can always count on.
So, Midge - I know you're reading - here's to you. I am happy to know that you will be a part of our big day. Thank you for being a friend...
No strippers at the bachelorette party.