Like bellybuttons...

I have very few complaints about this process. Dare I say, I even enjoy this process. But there are drawbacks. Even some of the drawbacks have drawbacks. Without a doubt, though, the single most difficult thing for H and I in all this planning is making sure that everyone else and the thoughts and opinions of everyone else is heard and that these same people are happy with the decisions, compromises, etc., that we make.

If only we believed her...

A few months back, H's bridesmaid, Deb, told H over brunch that, for whatever reason, people need to be shown the "love" leading up to the wedding. When this thought was relayed back to me, I didn't believe it. I had always looked at weddings as the one day that the bride gets to hog the attention (for better or worse). I thought it was an unwritten rule that everyone understood: its the bride's (and by extension - the happy couple's) day. I assumed that everyone would simply smile, tell H how beautiful she looks and if they disagreed with a choice we made, they would keep their opinions to themselves and talk about it behind our backs. I think its a fair trade...we get the wedding we want, you get open bar and 20 minutes of cattiness behind our backs. Everyone wins.

It really goes to show how naive I can be sometimes. Maybe its the fact that I have only been a groomsmen and never really behind the scenes, but this is not even close to what has been happening. Now - I need to couch this in a way that does not suggest we are unappreciative of all that people have done/will do for us. Its just that, you know, some people want to know that they count. That their opinions count. That they're important. That we show them the love. And by us doing this, maybe, they feel, it will some way validate the relationship we have with that person. How can we let these people know they matter to us without sacrificing some of the things that are important to us in the wedding?

This issue extends to almost everything wedding related - be it the places we register (Crate and Barrel and Bloomingdales by the by), our honeymoon (this is mostly because not one person has ever heard of it)(apparently I am the only person that watches the Little League World Series anymore), bachelor and bachelorette parties, hotel blocks and just about everything else. I don't have an opinion on these things and I am the one getting married - so, it is disconcerting at times when someone else is telling me the way we HAVE to do something.

It seems that if we have two people agree with us, we probably have one that disagrees. I have no problem with people disagreeing with us. Its their right and if they see something a certain way, it may help us fashion a solution that keeps everyone happy while maintaining the vibe we want from the wedding. But disagreeing with a decision of ours just to simply voice the way you would do it does nobody any good - rather it just creates unnecessary friction. The most baffling part for me is that there are opinions and pleas to be loved coming from all angles and directions - now, our parents and their opinions I can understand - they're part of this process and, frankly, we have good enough relationships with them that we can butt heads a little bit - but when the registry coordinator at one of the stores we may register at has something to say about how we're doing things, I have to draw the line...

Now - please do not read this like this is something that we are upset about. We're not - I am just venting. I truly was not ready for this aspect of wedding planning. I envisioned proposing to H, hiring Monica and then not worrying about it. I am beginning to believe that making sure everyone's opinions are at least heard is the most difficult part of the wedding planning - and infinitely more difficult than picking out a china pattern. Yes, we can handle it, but it is a very big aspect of the wedding...and dinner parties.

So, if you're reading this and you ask yourself "I wonder if I have done this?" You probably have and we love you anyway...

Daddy Needs a New Pair of Shoes

Not to be out done by H, I have been scouring men's fashion magazines since Sunday to find my own wedding shoe. Personally, I think this is more daunting than H's journey. She saw an episode of "Sex and the City" and decided that she had to have a particular pair of shoes. I wasn't exactly watching "Oceans 11" and paying attention to footwear.

Like most stores in Chicago, I have walked past the Johnston & Murphy store on LaSalle between Madison and Washington for literally seven years. I have never stopped in. I finally did yesterday after Court. I immediately told the gentleman working that "I am not looking to buy anything today." He must have smelled the chum in the water. Within two minutes, I was sold. Simple. Black. Lace-ups. And up-sold. Simple. Brown. Lace-ups. 15% off. Plus a $50.00 gift certificate to JM (In my defense, I needed new brown shoes. My friend Todd once compared my last pair to the sort of shoe you'd see on a south beach opium dealer)(I thought that they screamed Italian Bougeois)(Todd was right).

I am not very good at making bigger ticket purchases, so I texted H and said - "Hey I am at shoe store. They have my shoes on sale, if I buy a second pair." I didn't hear from her for a few minutes, so I bought the shoes (prompted by the salesman to "sometimes just make a decision without her)(Note: he wasn't wearing a wedding ring). I texted H again and said "I am sure you can guess what happened at the shoe store."

A Woman's Right to Shoes...

OK - so, I blatantly stole the title of this post from H's favorite "Sex and the City" episode. Guilty. But, totally appropriate. H got her wedding shoes yesterday and is very, very excited. How excited? Its hard to say - I saw her open and close the box at least 5 times between 5:30 PM and 8:00 PM - she also texted her friends a picture of the shoes to get their feedback. She also wore them around the house, but made sure to wash her feet, because she didn't want to get any pug hair on the shoes...

I am assuming that it is going to kill her to wait until September to wear these. I will probably keep a running tally on how many times I catch her wearing them around the house or sitting on the couch in her PJ's with them on. The early Vegas line is +/- 40 (I would take the over).

Daddy get your Gun -

While we are handing out congratulations - my good friend OB and his wife - Mrs. OB had their second child on Friday, April 17, 2009 - a beautiful baby girl, Emersen Grace (OB has confirmed that his daughter was named after their freshman dorm where they met at Miami). Kidding. Kind of. Congratulations to all of you. Now get Lucan boxing lessons, so he can become 'that' scary big brother.

Nice.

I am not really prone to short posts (see below), but I would be remiss if I did not post that one of H's bridesmaids, Deb, and her husband, Robby, welcomed a new addition to their family yesterday afternoon. Jonah Benjamin was born at 12:17 PM yesterday afternoon. Congratulations! We're so happy for you and are looking forward to meeting the little guy.

Divas for the Day...

Yesterday we met with our photographer, Nate Rowe of Nathanial Edmunds Photography, for our engagement photos. Let me say this at the onset - Whitney Houston - the grandest of all divas - has nothing on either H or me. To prepare for our photo shoot, we took Friday to get ourselves in the right state of mind - this included tanning (yes, tanning) and fashion shows and the like. Before I fell asleep that night, I said to H - "Don't laugh at me, but I have been practicing my smile a lot today. H responded - "I won't laugh. I have too." I do love that girl.

We were scheduled to meet with Nate at 1 PM. Before that, however, we had some work to do. I had committed to drink beers and watch Arsenal storm to a 2-0 win over Man City. H had committed to attend the baby shower of our neighbor - Messy Mandy (this is how she is programmed in my cell phone as well as the way that H and I refer to her. Messy Mandy owns and operates her own business Messy Mandy - as a personal assistant to help get her clients organized, be it for tax season or Thanksgiving dinner - she does it all. For the male readers - she is kinds of like the "Wolf" in "Pulp Fiction.")(We think the world of Messy Mandy and highly recommend - we know her as our neighbor, but also know how committed she is to her client)(shameless plug is over).

Anyway - H - dressed for the photos and looking absolutely classic and stunning - went to the baby shower and had a few glasses of Riesling to ease her nerves about the picture taking (this is going to be a theme). I picked her up about twenty to one and we were off to the first location: Paramount Room.

For those who have read this blog with any sort of consistency, you'll know that Paramount Room is a very special place to H and I. Since we moved in together in May, 2007, we have been going to Paramount Room for Friday happy hour. We love it there. The night I proposed, I arranged a little engagement party at PR for some of our friends and family to surprise H (it worked). We cannot say enough good things about the people and the vibe this place has. It doesn't hurt that they have a great beer selection for me and a unique and well done cocktail list for H.

About two weeks ago, H and I decided that we'd like to have some of our engagement photos taken at PR. I immediately contacted Jacquie via Facebook to see if this was feasible. Not only was it feasible - she was as excited about it as we were. Jacquie started at Paramount Room shortly after H and I started going there. She has become a friend. She was our server for the engagement party and she has been there virtually every time we have. H loves her and constantly leaves notes on our bill telling her the same. When we got to Paramount, the front booth was reserved for us. Which was perfect. Its the best seat in the house, the first place that we sat when we went there, and a great little corner for pictures. I would be guilty of neglect if I did not take a moment to thank Jacquie for all she did for us Saturday afternoon. She really went out of her way to make sure that we had a great time and were taken care of. It meant a lot to H and I. Thank you so, so much.

Nate showed up to Paramount shortly after we did. We sat and talked a little bit about our respective lives and the like. I think I have written about this in the past, but it is imperative to me that Nate gets a feel for us as people. I think that it helps everybody and will definitely help the end product. The more Nate gets a feel for us, the more comfortable we are with one another and the better the pictures. We had a great time, shared a few drinks (can I write that?) and got a good feel for how this was going to go. Without cue Nate started taking pictures. First it was our glassware, then the "Evil b. gone" plaque behind me. It was kind of crazy to me. A few moments before we were talking about Chicago and then it was like Nate turned on his "professional" switch and immediately went to work. It was kind of cool, because you could see his mind working for cool shots and different angles. He seemed instantly aware of all his surroundings and worked quickly - it was really interesting for me to see.

A funny thing happened though - H got really camera shy. Nate would tell us (in his raspy voice)(he was in a bar that was too loud the night before) to "look natural" and "pretend [he's] not there" or to "just carry on a conversation." The only thing H would say while we were carrying on was "I hate this. I hate this. I hate this." Who knew? I for one, think she was just saying it. She looked beautiful. She is beautiful. The camera loves her.

I think the problem - for both of us - is that we have never just had our picture taken by a professional. We have thousands of pictures that we have taken. But nothing like this. It took a little bit to get used to. That, plus, after M, this is the one of the first things that actually signifies our wedding in action, if that makes sense. We have made plans and a hundred decisions. But this was the first one of those decisions in action, I guess. And, if we are thinking of reasons - we really like Nate - but for us, its difficult to separate that relationship from the existing working relationship. We want people to like us - which can be defied by the fact that he was there to do his job for us.

We left Paramount and went outside We stressed that we wanted our engagement shoot to be a little grittier than a normal photo shoot. We are not tandem bicycles on the lake front path. We are not in front of a tree with our names carved into it. I think Nate figured this out pretty quickly and after we had some pictures taken with the Pug (who had dutifully been waiting in the wheel well of the car) in front of the endangered species murals on Hubbard, Nate got us to climb up some rocks onto the Metra tracks that run just north behind Paramount Room. It was awesome. Some great city views and the gritty we were looking for. I don't know what possessed him to climb up there and decide that this was the spot for our next shots, but he did it and I cannot wait to see these photos. We finished on our roof with the entire city scape behind us - which was great too - since, early on we indicated to NEP that being on that roof is one of our three favorite things to do together.

I dropped Nate at the house he was staying at and picked up some burritos for H and I. I cannot stress enough how much fun we had on Saturday. It was great working with Nate and NEP. It is clear to us why he is as in demand as he is. He is up for anything and really works with the client. It meant a lot to H and I that he listened to our suggestions and was willing to roll with it. I think sometimes the art can cloud the artist's work. The goal here was to take good pictures that capture our personalities. We are not conventional and I think Nate really went above and beyond to capture that aspect of us. Obviously, as I wrote earlier, NEP has been recognized for excellence in its field. But, I believe Nate when he says that the awards, while nice, are not what he works for. He works for the pictures and the people he's shooting. I know he killed it Saturday and I know for a fact that there is a picture I am going to love from this set - and I hope its one where H is sitting in the booth at Paramount Room with her feet up and I am whispering something sweet in her ear.

UPDATE: The pictures turned out amazing. For a small taste - you should visit the NEP Photo Blog - we are so, so pleased with how these came out and cannot wait to see what they come up with at the wedding.

Glad you could make it...

Lately, I have been obsessed with the rise of the internet news medium at the expense of the newspaper (I think it all started when I listened to a 55 minute podcast argument between Bill Simmons and Chuck Klosterman) and while, this 'blog' falls into the realm of 'internet news medium' this fascination has manifested a fear that this blog simply does not have a readership. I blame work firewalls (and content)(naturally).

H and I stayed up late on Friday night drunk dialing our moms and brainstorming ways to increase readership of this blog - Aided by bottles of Chilean wine (hello Root:1) and Chimay - I think we nailed it and hope that by the middle of this week, we will gain at least 50 - 196 new readers. Obviously, we are extremely excited about the wedding and the increased traffic on this site, but thought that it would be appropriate to maybe let the new readers know what this is all about.

H and I were engaged on September 26, 2008 - immediately thereafter, H went to Trial on a $9mil wrongful death litigation. Needless to say, the wedding and the planning of the wedding was not at the forefront of H's "to-do" list.

In fact, it wasn't on the list at all.

For the first 30 days of the engagement, I was in charge (thats not entirely true - since we hired our planner about three weeks after the engagement). But, for all intents and purposes, I was thrown in the deep end with flowers, venues, invitations, photographers, mothers-in-laws and caterers. I realized quickly that I was in waaaay over my head, but also given a real opportunity to be part of the world that men/grooms are not normally allowed.

I decided to keep an online journal here - mainly for H (and my own sanity), but also for an information center for the guests and anyone else that is interested. So far, three people are interested.

I encourage all the readers to take a look around. Get comfortable with the content. Make comments. There is even some useful information about the wedding here - I intend to update things here (between work and the wedding diet and reality television - when I have the time) and talk in broader terms about the wedding and the grooms role in wedding planning.

More than anything, we really hope that you get a good feel for H and I as a couple. Many of you know me or you know H - but few of you know us. We look forward to seeing a lot of you in a few months, when, against her better judgment, H makes an honest man out of me.