Its embarrassing. As I have said so far, I don't think I anticipated doing much of anything by ways of planning for this wedding. H really did just tell me to do the honeymoon and that may be it. Now, I am finding more and more that things that were not that important to me are becoming critical to me. A lot of times, this happens when M forwards on some information or gives us a website to check out. Maybe I am so de-sensitized by all the weddings that I have been to over the years that I figured all the amenities that come with the wedding are pretty interchangeable. There is no difference between this invite and that invite. These flowers and those. Anyone can DJ a party, right?
I was wrong. Dead wrong. And I am going to have the pictures to prove it.
Great Pictures! but maybe not for us.
We have a budget. Despite what you read here, we are doing our best to be cost conscious. We think its working, for the most part. One of the areas where we really anticipated saving some money was with the photographer. My Mom has been working weekends at a wedding photography studio for over the last decade. It was something she always loved to do and she and my Dad (who worked there for a while as well) used it as a means to cultivate their love for photography. This studio has been good to my Mom. She loves meeting with the brides (rarely the grooms)(see what I am doing there?). She loves putting together the proof books. Its really something she enjoys. I think in part due to her loyalty to this studio, it did not charge full freight for my youngest brother's wedding last September. This really helped them out. And they really liked the photos.
We understood that that same offer would be extended to us, if we chose my Mom's studio. We thought of the money we could save. The things we could do with it. What if we...*gasp*...came in under budget?!? There was one slight problem. We really didn't like the style of the photographs. This is not to say that they weren't good. The photographer is very good. He was just too traditional for us. We envisioned a pretty lively party - we wanted someone to capture all of that, plus, we wanted a more photo-journalistic approach - with lots of candid shots. We would do the traditional pics, but really wanted the focus to be on the randomness of the event. We didn't know if this option would be able to do that...but ultimately, we may have been resigned to letting him try. I mean, weddings aren't cheap. This would have been found money.
I blame this one on M. She e-mailed H and I six Indianapolis photographers to look at - a few weren't for us, a few we liked, but one, Nathanial Edmunds Photography, we absolutely fell head-over-heels, we have to have them do our wedding, in love with. From the moment we opened their "phlog" we were hooked. They had such a style. Each of shoots had a very personal feel, like they spent a week at the couple's home and got to know them and their personalities. If the couple had a little edge - you could tell. The photos told that story. But then, if there was a devout christian couple, you could see that as well from their photos. Plus, they were local - they knew Indianapolis and they knew M.
Had we not seen this site, we may have been OK with the cost conscious option. But the fates intervened...
We struggled with this. I mean, there was a cost-benefit analysis somewhere in all of this photography business. Were we crazy? Yes. And yes, they were more expensive. Were we really ready to spend the extra money? YES.WE.WERE. We had drinks at the Paramount Room that Friday night. As the basement flooded there, H and I talked about all this photography business. It became increasingly clear that the photographs had taken on a new meaning for me...um, us. What was ancillary to the wedding, now has become one of our biggest needs. I mean, in fifty years, this is all we will really have from that day. And we wanted it to be cool and to tell the story of us on that day - or as M put it - the story of the wedding the way our guests saw it. We thought that NEP were the photographers for this...
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
I had warned M that we were meeting to talk about this that night and may drunk text her - we texted her that we HAD to have NEP and she went straight to work on them. The date, we understood, was tentatively booked. Apparently, though, the other couple was unresponsive. NEP was not pleased. There were ultimatums. There were blown deadlines. There was begging. It was really here, that I understood just how competitive this wedding thing is. There are a finite number of quality vendors out there and we all fight like grade schoolers for them. Late Saturday night, in a frantic text/phone call/e-mail/facebook wall post/phone call/e-mail, we got them. Within hours, we were FB friends with NEP, and looking at all sorts of questionnaires. I couldn't sign the contract fast enough.I couldn't wait to share the news with H - who had been in the office all day and then took a cooking class that night (which is basically a reason to power-bomb wine and make mashed potatoes). All of it was exhilirating and I am so excited that we got the photographer that we need to shoot this wedding. I have not been able to stop thinking about it and I am constantly checking their phlog (I will use this word until it catches on) for updates...its crazy to me that something which was so, SO down the list of important things to me in all of this, is now the thing I am most excited about - I cannot wait to see what they can do.
Showing posts with label groom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label groom. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Welcome to the Monkey House
H and I are not a typical couple. We pride ourselves on it. We like restored dishware with skulls on it. We own pistol bookends and a gun vase. We watch ghost hunting shows and dissect them more than we did the election. We're not edgy. But we're not traditional either. This meant that there would be no church. This also meant that the location where we got married had to be real unique.
We still get the cake, right?
H and I spoke about getting married for a while. We figured we would get married back at Miami (where we both went to school), that way we could create a memory of Oxford of us together. We even went as far as telling all our friends - most of whom are Miami grads as well, that they should get their drinking caps on - because we're forcing them to go back to school.
Despite H's mother's advice that we secure a date and place immediately, We decided to take a few days to just enjoy being engaged - like every couple should do. That may have been our first mistake. Naturally, every place in Oxford was booked by the time that we called. We could have compromised and planned a wedding over Thanksgiving Break or in the dead of winter, but that was not really what we wanted. That, and O-town (as we affectionately call it) lacks certain "unique" party spaces. There was Marcum Conference Center and Shriver Center. The only thing, we thought, that separated these venues from the Concord Banquet Hall in Lake Zurich, Illinois was that these were in Ohio. This made it easy to justify our decision not to get married at Miami after all.
We haven't had the heart to break it to our friends that Oxford is not going to happen. *Sigh*
Books bound in Leather and the rich smell of mahoganey.
In a very short time, we went from having our dream wedding in a quaint college town with all our friends and $0.25 wings and penny pitchers to being venue-less and idea-less. H's greatest fear was about to be realized: we were going to have to get married in Indianapolis. Now, this isn't to say that Indy is not a great town: it is. Its closer, there are more options, the prices are good, there are hotels to stay at. I just don't think this was what she wanted...at all. It may give too many people too much of a say in all of this. We have to include more and more people in the planning. We have to rely on people for their knowledge with respect to the area. Oxford - fine, its a blank slate - people have no opinions. Indianapolis - suddenly, we are entertaining opinions. They're like belly-buttons. This has been the toughest part for me - us - the managing of expectations of everyone else. I want to make people happy, but most of all, I want H to be happy.
We procrastinated (a theme for us) and spent one Sunday night - a week after the engagement - looking at unique venues on-line. There were several and we found ourselves getting excited about the process. Maybe we could have a cool wedding in Indy? Is that possible? That's when we saw it. In fairness, this one is all H (with a slight wink to my sister-in-law Jill and Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City). She seemed to recall the Indianapolis public library being kind of cool. We went on-line. It, in fact, was cool. Real cool. And affordable. Is this it? We wanted it...bad.
I was all over this. The next morning I stalked the Library, until I was able to get some information. It was available - it was sweet. Everyone over there was extremely helpful. I put a lot of credence into the idea that we have to like who we decide to work with. To put it mildly, I loved the vibe from everyone at the Library. They were energetic. They were trying to grow a event business at the facility. I may have logged 4 or 5 billable hours speaking to these ladies over the next few days. H and I were pretty sure that we wanted to get married here - so, we signed the rental agreement and crossed our fingers. We arranged for a time to see it when we would be in town. The problem, however, was that this being Indianapolis, we had to hear everyone else out. H's mother and aunt were big fans of a private club on the circle. We agreed to see it before we made any decisions (though, I think the decision had been made). I loved this place - it was old school. Like where you'd expect a Gossip Girl wedding to be held if Dan and Serena finally come to their senses (Little J and Nate?). This was a blessing - its great when your two decisions are both places you can deal with. The club, however, kept stressing tradition and "making it look like a church." That was kind of a
turn off for us. You can have all the carved walls and marble floor in the world, but don't you dare think that making something look like a church is a good selling point to us.
Over to the library. It was a no-brainer. This place is ridiculous. The lighting. The old and new. The fact that Vonnegut's name is engraved in the wall (see what I did there...the title makes sense now). This was "us."I think we could have spent the entire day in there. I could sense H getting into this. Her mother was a little more reserved - which worried me. I really want her to love the decisions we make. Ultimately, though, this is our decision. We called the club and released the date - we were library or bust.
We still get the cake, right?
H and I spoke about getting married for a while. We figured we would get married back at Miami (where we both went to school), that way we could create a memory of Oxford of us together. We even went as far as telling all our friends - most of whom are Miami grads as well, that they should get their drinking caps on - because we're forcing them to go back to school.
Despite H's mother's advice that we secure a date and place immediately, We decided to take a few days to just enjoy being engaged - like every couple should do. That may have been our first mistake. Naturally, every place in Oxford was booked by the time that we called. We could have compromised and planned a wedding over Thanksgiving Break or in the dead of winter, but that was not really what we wanted. That, and O-town (as we affectionately call it) lacks certain "unique" party spaces. There was Marcum Conference Center and Shriver Center. The only thing, we thought, that separated these venues from the Concord Banquet Hall in Lake Zurich, Illinois was that these were in Ohio. This made it easy to justify our decision not to get married at Miami after all.
We haven't had the heart to break it to our friends that Oxford is not going to happen. *Sigh*
Books bound in Leather and the rich smell of mahoganey.
In a very short time, we went from having our dream wedding in a quaint college town with all our friends and $0.25 wings and penny pitchers to being venue-less and idea-less. H's greatest fear was about to be realized: we were going to have to get married in Indianapolis. Now, this isn't to say that Indy is not a great town: it is. Its closer, there are more options, the prices are good, there are hotels to stay at. I just don't think this was what she wanted...at all. It may give too many people too much of a say in all of this. We have to include more and more people in the planning. We have to rely on people for their knowledge with respect to the area. Oxford - fine, its a blank slate - people have no opinions. Indianapolis - suddenly, we are entertaining opinions. They're like belly-buttons. This has been the toughest part for me - us - the managing of expectations of everyone else. I want to make people happy, but most of all, I want H to be happy.
We procrastinated (a theme for us) and spent one Sunday night - a week after the engagement - looking at unique venues on-line. There were several and we found ourselves getting excited about the process. Maybe we could have a cool wedding in Indy? Is that possible? That's when we saw it. In fairness, this one is all H (with a slight wink to my sister-in-law Jill and Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City). She seemed to recall the Indianapolis public library being kind of cool. We went on-line. It, in fact, was cool. Real cool. And affordable. Is this it? We wanted it...bad.
I was all over this. The next morning I stalked the Library, until I was able to get some information. It was available - it was sweet. Everyone over there was extremely helpful. I put a lot of credence into the idea that we have to like who we decide to work with. To put it mildly, I loved the vibe from everyone at the Library. They were energetic. They were trying to grow a event business at the facility. I may have logged 4 or 5 billable hours speaking to these ladies over the next few days. H and I were pretty sure that we wanted to get married here - so, we signed the rental agreement and crossed our fingers. We arranged for a time to see it when we would be in town. The problem, however, was that this being Indianapolis, we had to hear everyone else out. H's mother and aunt were big fans of a private club on the circle. We agreed to see it before we made any decisions (though, I think the decision had been made). I loved this place - it was old school. Like where you'd expect a Gossip Girl wedding to be held if Dan and Serena finally come to their senses (Little J and Nate?). This was a blessing - its great when your two decisions are both places you can deal with. The club, however, kept stressing tradition and "making it look like a church." That was kind of a
turn off for us. You can have all the carved walls and marble floor in the world, but don't you dare think that making something look like a church is a good selling point to us.Over to the library. It was a no-brainer. This place is ridiculous. The lighting. The old and new. The fact that Vonnegut's name is engraved in the wall (see what I did there...the title makes sense now). This was "us."I think we could have spent the entire day in there. I could sense H getting into this. Her mother was a little more reserved - which worried me. I really want her to love the decisions we make. Ultimately, though, this is our decision. We called the club and released the date - we were library or bust.
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