On the Sidelines...

Something strange happened yesterday while we visited my Mom in the suburbs - I officially became marginalized in something in the process that is not dress related. Maybe marginalized is not the correct word, but rather, I became a follower, instead of a leader. We started on our save the date cards ("STDs" - seriously, this is what they call them in the industry) yesterday. With ideas from our planner and the help of the Mom, we have come up with a creative way of incorporating the venue into our STDs (I don't know if I like this - now there is a possibility that when an irresponsible frat boy googles "the clap" he is going to come up on this blog)(Note to frat boy - be responsible!!)(I digress). We were trying to determine lay-outs and colors and the whole shebang... and I was asked to go upstairs and work on copy. I would have no input into the colors, etc., of the STD. I shouldn't be surprised. This sort of thing, admittedly, is not my strongest suit. I would fail an art class right now. I would also be fired from my job if I was a graphic artist. Seemingly, my three brothers got some artsy gene. I got chip n' pepper jeans. I try to make things equal by being that annoying guy in the group project - I suggest a lot of things and hope that one of the smarter people in the group hears it and says "yes, that's brilliant!!" After three or four minutes, I sensed that the Mom was zoning me out. H followed suit shortly thereafter.

I imagine that this sounds like I may be bitter about this or that my feelings are hurt. I'm not and they're not. Not in the slightest. I know its for the best, since, the writing may be more suited to my strengths, but I also realized two valuable things. I have been looking forward to the day that H became excited about the process and the planning. It seems like she is now-She and the Mom were really into this project and that was good to see. Maybe it was the dress that kick started H into gear. Whatever it is, I am thankful for it. I have looked forward to this whole process as something that H and I can share and, in the last few months, it really feels that way (after a first calamitous month of the engagement - which eventually prompted working M - our planner - into our budget).

I think, too, that maybe the more important lesson that I learned is that I have to let go a little. I have suggested to H in the past, that it has been difficult for me to not be involved. Since I was SO involved in the initial planning, it has been difficult for me to take a step back in this process and let other people help or make decisions without me or my input. Like I said, I want to share this with H, and if I am serious about wanting this wedding to be something that we both look back upon as something we (+ M) put together, then I need to be willing to do so.