Keeping House...

When I told H that, rather than starting a new blog (again), I was just going to expand on the already realized incarnation of "My Name is on the Invite Too" she was (with cause) skeptical. She had a million questions centered mainly about the content. To each, I simply responded with "I don't know." I guess the dusting off of something that was such a cathartic mouthpiece is strange. MNIONTIT was wedding-focused, to say the least. Now that we're married, what else is there to talk about? In a word...everything.

For the last 18 months H and I have been getting used to being married...which, truth be told, we didn't expect. As far as I was concerned, we had it pretty figured out. We had lived together for 2 years before even getting engaged.  We had our routines. We had our DVR. We had the "Real Housewives" franchise and Andy Cohen (Andy Cohen's got the 4-1-1) to keep us entertained. I think, at points, we got by and by doing so - we became a sort of updated "Odd Couple" - with me playing Felix to H's Oscar (seriously, this girl never uses the same glass twice). I mean this, weirdly, is a compliment to our relationship. The love was always there - but, so too, was a comfort - a comfort around each other and a comfort for the routine of our day-to-day lives.

Since we were married, it just feels...heavier.

Somewhere between the 'I do's' and after the honeymoon, something changed. I will definitely blame some of it on the cards we have been dealt since the marriage. Some of it may be blamed on my job situation. Losing a job is hard. As unfortunate as it is, after just two weeks of marriage (on my first day back to work after Curacao), I became unemployed. The first big news we received as husband and wife (or partners)(for you neo-feminists) was bad news. It has been hard to reconcile that - amidst the excitement of being newlyweds - that we were in (are in) a struggle. Not only was I force-fed the revelation that I was not where I wanted to be as a grown-up, but I also had to reconcile that this is what H knows of marriage. That, virtually our entire married life, we have been scrambling to make ends meet while still maintaining some modicum of our previous life.

Some of the pressure I feel may be chalked up to my "traditional" (read: archaic) views on marriage - one that is largely predicated on a baby-boomeresque ideology  - echoing my parents' marriage. That - as the husband, I am more responsible for the well-being of both of us.  I admit that, in 2011, this is pretty antiquated. But - my parents were married for 40 years. So, its pretty much the only set-up I know.

Thankfully, I married a girl that minored in women's studies at Miami and would not take my hand to cross the street unless she just had lasik surgery. It has taken a little bit of getting used to. Its hard for me to put my ego aside and work in tandem to insure that the collective is at the forefront of our marriage. I am a work in progress. Lord knows that I need my hand held from time to time just as H needs me to take care of her and let her know that it will be alright.

I think, though, the struggles we endured early on have forced us to learn how to work as partners faster than maybe it normally would. To allow us to be a collective. To have the hard conversations. To deal with problems and to solve problems. To learn when to take a back seat and let the other drive (metaphorically) H is a terrible driver)(I am worse). And maybe, for me, that's the most gratifying part of this marriage - that we are figuring it out together. That we share each other's tiny victories and sweeping successes and bear one other's setbacks together. That neither of us are ever alone.

Maybe then, it has not been in vain (gratuitous "The Odd Couple" paraphrase from last episode")(I could not resist).

Didn't see this coming...

The sophomore effort was a complete failure...If this blog was "3 Feet High and Rising", clearly then, my second effort was "De La Soul is Dead."

"My Wife Would Rather I Share this with You" is dead, I guess.

I really do not know where this will take me/us. It would be criminal to believe that I could capture the same spirit as the wedding blog did. That was a one-off, obviously. But, I did my best writing (if you call blogging an actual form of writing)(for sake of argument, I do) here. I know this place. Its nooks. Its crannies. I am comfortable here. Writing as a (now) husband/partner to a beautiful woman. Writing as an enthusiast for bus gossip and reality television. Writing as a complete nut-job about traffic patterns, punctuality and Arsenal Football (soccer to you Americans).

Maybe, as Jim Kremens once sang, "[t]his is the place, we'll be all right."

Dusting it off...

Given that H and I are nearly six months into our journey as husband and wife and given the exciting news I/we are about to share, I thought it only appropriate that I give the people what they want and dust off the old blog.

You're welcome.

I am constantly shocked and flattered by the feedback I have received on my little endeavor. This all started as a way for me to deal with the thought that I would have a large part in our wedding planning and it ended up as a love letter to my beautiful wife, H and our relationship. To hear stories about people (whom we have never met) skipping nights out with friends so they can get to know H and I better is incredibly humbling. Whatever you feel about kismet or fate or what-have-you, I feel in my heart of hearts that H and I were meant to be together and I am glad that you humored me over 60+ overwritten posts and that that message alone leaps off your screen every time you read.

So, with that said, thank you.

Now for the news...

I know that moms and mother-in-laws are reading this with fingers crossed, so I will just let you know that it is not that...and really? Do you think I would tell you over a blog. Get to know us. Sheesh.

You have read here about our incredible wedding planner, Monica Richard and the amazing Detail+Design team, including Gene Huddleson. And you may remember a post about a year ago in which I vaguely detailed the ISES PACE awards given for outstanding work in the event planning and design world (which also includes event photography)(more on that in a minute). I think last year, Monica and D+D went 8-for-8 in the categories that they submitted for. Keeping true to form, they are, once again, winners...and our wedding was one of the submissions they won for!

I will admit it...we were nervous. We wanted this badly...for Monica, of course. It is so important to H and I that she and D+D are recognized for the amazing event that they planned on our behalf. Our wedding would not have been the same without their incredible vision, diligence, hand-holding (sorry!) and - dare I say - organization. It all came together so beautifully and wonderfully and we are forever indebted to them. H and I would recommend them to anyone looking for a wedding planner and design team  - and, in fact, we have - on Martha Stewart's wedding website.

We would be remiss if we failed to mention that our photographers, Nathaniel Edmunds, were also honored as best team photographers and, if I am not mistaken, for our event as well. Again, we are so happy for Nate and Tiffany - the brother/sister team at NEP. We were so excited to learn the day before the wedding that both Nate and Tiffany were teaming up to shoot our wedding. We had developed a friendship with both of them and felt so comfortable with them -  plus the moments they were able to capture perfectly encapsulated the wedding - not the least, H, finally able to get on the dance floor, signing the marriage certificate on my back, so she can continue dancing, sans interruption (true story). They were, without reservation, the perfect photographers for us.

Congratulations to all of you (and the rest of the nominees as well).

Where to now? Is that the end of "My Name in on the Invite Too?" - sadly, yes. The thank-you cards have been sent (my name is on the Thank You cards too), the dress put away, and cupcakes remain in our freezer, frozen and anxiously awaiting our first anniversary.

The good news, however, is that I have started writing again - my new project is underway and can be found here. I don't know where that project will take you or even me, but I promise, it will be a self-aggrandizing and funny ride.

The Beginning...

My wife is sleeping.

That has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? And it should too, since H and I were married this past weekend in what was the best night of my life and (but for my golf game and Arsenal's 4-2 loss to citeh) the most perfect and memorable weekend I have ever had.

I know weddings are like babies - everyone thinks their kid is cute and well behaved, just as everyone person two days after getting married, thinks their wedding was the most amazing event ever...but, seriously, our wedding was the most amazing night ever. Everything. Was. Perfect.

I could go into some detail, gushing about each and every person that made this wedding so amazing, but then I would feel like Miley Cyrus accepting a Teen Choice Award ("God. Hellllloooo!") - so, I will save that for the letters and cards and recommendations and e-mails, and wall posts and everything else. Lets just say that everyone - vendors, planners, parents and all the guests - made this wedding what it was and H and I are incredibly fortunate to start our life together surrounded by the love, laughter and good people. Without our friends and family, H and I would not be possible. Each of them accept us as a couple that may be a little left of center, that has their pug as their flower girl and that chooses a reading from Ben Folds' first solo album, rather than a scripture. They let us be the couple we are and appreciate us for that. It will not be forgotten or taken for granted.

So, you may ask, whats next for us - in a word - everything (maybe even live blogging from the honeymoon). Thank you so much for being a part of our day and for the love and support and friendship that you have provided both of us over the last 12 months of the engagement.

Sleepless in Chicago...

H has been complaining lately that - consumed with anxiety about the wedding - she has not been able to sleep. I, on the other hand, have been sleeping like a baby...

Until last night.

I had my first "everything is going to go wrong at the wedding" nightmare. Not good times. This one was pretty simple - My groomsmen and I were all lining up before the ceremony (in my parents' kitchen, strangely). There were two fundamental problems. First, I was in a black shirt and white tie with a black coat and white lapels. Not a big deal - in my dream, I was going to fix that by running to Macys. Even Dream me thinks quick on his feet.

The second issue was a little more complicated. One of my groomsmen was replaced by a dirty drunk version of somebody I went to high school with - who was wearing the exact same thing as me, but with cargo pants.

Weird.

Rest assured - I checked the closet this morning. My shirt is still white.

Entering Washington...

H and I spent the weekend in Washington D.C. Which was nice. It was good to get out of town and this was my first time in our Nation's capitol. I was one of the few people in my 8th grade class who's parents pulled him out of the Washington D.C. trip on account of Desert Storm. Thank god, right? If my parents were parents in the 60's, I would have loved to see their bomb shelter. In any event, that week LZJHS treated the 8th graders to a movie. I got to go see "White Fang." Which was pretty awesome. I have always loved Ethan Hawke's early works. He was a genius. Its a shame what has happened to him since he started writing books.

H and I were in town for a college friend of hers who was getting married in Northern Virginia and were staying with her good friend Sarah and her husband Karl - who were nice enough to take us in, feed us and buy us chappy beers. Karl and Sarah - if you're reading - thank you. We had a great time.

The trip started a little rough. I am neurotic. I have airport issues. I don't travel well. I am constantly distracted. I drive H crazy. Really crazy. Until we are actually in the air, I am a mess. Naturally, our flight left 90 minutes late. So, I was pretty relaxed. If I was seated next to children I would have lost it. It wasn't until we saw the Washington Monument from the plane that I finally calmed down. I'm awesome. I have no idea what H sees in me sometimes.

We spent most of Friday site-seeing and grasshopper eating (hello Oyamel!) and then had drinks at Oya (which, according to H is the best decorated place she has ever been in)(it was pretty awesome). We housed several drinks and met her girlfriends for dinner (note: I was a total cock in the henhouse - one of two husbands/boyfriends able to make the wedding) at some Tapas place near the Verizon center. I was kind of shocked, but DC was a pretty good food town thus far.

H's friends Cindy and Steve were married on Saturday. This is only the second wedding H and I have been to together since we have been engaged. At the first one - back in March - we weren't really thinking about our wedding. This time we were. The wedding was elegant and beautiful - and we had such a wonderful time - and it scared us sh*tless. It magnified all the things we need to do before we even get to the Library. First, we have so much work to do. There are a million little things to do here in the next several weeks. We are not sleeping. We are stressed. Good times. Ultimately, we know we can lean on Monica and she'll guide us (I am sure she has this all under control) through the process. The wedding is basically planned - we just need to put the finishing touches on it. But that does not diminish the fact that it still needs to get done. We want to avoid those horror stories you hear about staying up until 5 AM making place cards - that would be a nightmare.

The second thing this wedding showed was what we are missing at our wedding. Both H and I have lost people in our lives that would be central to this process. It wasn't until the traditional parent dances that this struck me - and it weighed on H too. We had a great night, but when the wedding was over, we went straight back to Karl and Sarah's house and sat on the porch and broke down. Both of us were a mess. I have not been able to put it too far from my mind since then (I blame H). I am going to miss my Dad that day - I am going to miss that talk I get to have with him about marriage - afterall, he made it work for 40+ years before he passed away. I just miss him. Its funny that weddings and funerals are probably the only two things that really bring this out (and Northwestern v. Wisconsin)(for completely different reasons).

I think we needed this. I think H needed to know that I am just as bothered by this missing piece as she is... that we're a team and that we're in this together. I think its one of the real unique things about H and I. We've shared this incredible loss. She came into my life less than a year after I lost my Dad and supported me and I have leaned on her (whether she knows it or not) ever since. I know I can count on her and only pray that she counts on me for the same support. So - we sat on the porch and we cried. Together.

The next morning we packed up and quietly left DC. When we boarded our flight and I was seated next to two 9-year olds flying without their parents - H just laughed.

Hotel Indianapolis

Hey everyone - just a reminder - if you plan on staying in the room block at the hotel, please reserve your room sooner rather than later. The NFL schedule was released a few weeks back and the Indianapolis Colts open up that weekend at home against Jacksonville. Our fear is that the block will be opened up and people are going to miss out on the special room rates - and have a difficult time finding a room in the city on account of the game. The Jags travel large. I mean, who wouldn't want to leave Jacksonville, right? The hotel information is on the Save-the-Date cards and/or the invite (or you can e-mail H or I and we will give you the information). Awesome.

Seriously...

I don't invest...but if I did, judging by the number of black and white boxes I have thrown away in the last 3 days - and taking into account whether Crate & Barrel is a publicly traded company - I would buy stock. Lots of it. Because I have a feeling that their earning this 3rd quarter are going to be higher than anticipated.

H had her one and only wedding shower this past weekend in Chicago. I am not going to write much about it. Alas, I wasn't there. I was busy golfing with my soon to be father-in-law, Richard. He beat me by 40 strokes. I am not a good golfer.

The shower was held at Branch 27 - a new restaurant near our house. Cary and his staff put out a great spread and it appears that everyone had fun. The girls all loved the server Kevin - who, by the time I got there to load the presents into the car, had baby's breath in his hair.

To everyone that attended - thank you. H loved everything and I am so thankful that you all could make it. Special kudos go out to H's Mom, Sandra, my Mom, Carol and H's bridesmaids - who all hosted this event and made this a shower for H to remember. It seems like everything really came together amazingly and I am so appreciative of your efforts on behalf of my favorite girl. Special props go out to the girls who bought the cake (shown above) (Jrise and CKang, I think?) - its pretty awesome, though, it may be derailing my wedding diet.

Magic Cards...

We are less than seven weeks away...invitations were dropped a few Saturdays ago (props out to Sandra H - H's Mom - for doing the leg work and getting these out). My understanding is that these things are beautiful. I wouldn't actually know, since H did this one on her own. She met with a woman named Gloria in May and kind of laid out what she was thinking. There was no mock-up. There were no drafts. Just Gloria and H (and Monica and Sandra H) sitting around brainstorming. Between you and me, I am a little glad that I missed. I don't work well in group settings - I am at my best when its just me, some saison du pont and an evite (and a bad attitude).

As I was saying - the invitations went out in the mail two Saturdays ago...on Thursday we started receiving the RSVPs.

You know you are wedding dorks when you have a little ritual for the RSVPs. I'll be the first to admit it. I am a huge wedding nerd...and I have turned H over to the dark side. Every night for the last seven days (that mail has come), H or I (whoever gets the mail first), places the unopened RSVP cards (complete with the $0.44 customized Jezebel the Pug Stamp)(Pimp my stamp!) on the center of the kitchen table and we wait until the other gets home. The wait is excruciating...Admittedly, we peek (you can make out whether the RSVP is an "accept with pleasure" or "decline with regret" through the envelope - as well as whether a vegetarian dish is requested (so far there have been 5 vegetarian dishes requested - good for you readers!). We then split them up and begin opening them one-by-one.

We then argue about who had the better RSVP... usually H opens the one from the people I invite or that she invites. Which means she gets all the ones with the little notes written on them (which I never knew was allowed - though, we are the first people I know that are getting the RSVP cards - they usually go to the parents). It makes me jealous.

Why am I writing about such a mundane wedding detail. Other than the fact that I am running out of material? Easy. There is something about these cards that change H's mood almost immediately. Last Thursday, H came home hysterical - she was scheduled to begin a trial in a few weeks and felt like she was behind. She was also traveling to Indy (and leaving an hour later than she wanted) for the weekend and felt like she was missing valuable trial prep time (especially since I was out of pocket all weekend). This is also the day that we received our first 10 RSVP cards...almost instantly (after we opened the first), H's mood was transformed...she loved the notes and loved the fact that people were taking time out of their lives to join us on our day. I think she loved thinking about these people at our wedding. It was pretty remarkable - and, as she drove to Indy, she texted me about the people who responded (well, about one of the people that responded). I could tell her mood had changed. Her focus was off the trial for a little bit and was now focused on just how amazing her wedding is going to be...

And yes, dear reader - you have to respond. If only just for H.

She's got the fever...and the only treatment is more wedding bells

There has been a pretty consistent theme throughout these fifty+ posts - unless it has to do with music, H is not a fan of planning this wedding. It was a real issue between her and I before we agreed that the best thing for our engagement would be to hire Monica from Detail + Design to aid us as a wedding planner.

Something is changing...slowly....surely. Someone is embarrassed... someone is conflicted ... someone has wedding fever.

While I was out passing out at (or before) midnight with my friends for my bachelor party, H slipped away to Indiana to put a dent in our wedding 'to-do' list - make-up and hair run through - the Tasting at the Central Library - sit down with the designer - sit down with Monica - get wedding band for future husband - wedding (cup)cake tasting. What started as a major inconvenience (H has a trial starting in a few weeks) quickly turned into a series of text messages stating in no uncertain terms "OMG! Our wedding is going to be amazing!!" and Facebook wall posts saying "I am getting a little too giddy about this bridal situation and I don't know how I feel about it."

I don't know if giddy is the right word - I have never known H to get giddy - but she definitely has got the wedding fever and the only prescription is her taking a more active role these last few weeks. Its exciting. I love the fact that this wedding is going to have her stamp on it (in someways quite literally - since she was the brains behind the $0.44 customized Jezebel Pug Stamp on the RSVP cards)(as well as the creative drive behind the invites)(which I planned on talking about - but since I still haven't seen one, I remain silent)(I digress).

The point - as it has been throughout really - is that the whole process is infinitely more enjoyable when we are both immersed in it - H and I were talking about the stresses of planning the other day (a pretty routine conversation) - and I mentioned the things that are going to stick out as the memorable moments of our engagement (other than night we got engaged)(of course) and they were all things that we did together: quick trips to Indiana to see the Library; meeting with Monica; sharing a bottle of wine while we completed the save the date cards; faux dancing around the house to the song that we plan on having as our first dance ("Bump n' Grind" by R.Kelley)(I wish); and two weekends ago when we sat around with our computer and ipods and picked out songs that are "must plays" at the wedding.

H and I are often on the same page - but its those moments that really captures just how great of a team we are.

Worst Bachelor Since Andrew Firestone...

This weekend was the long-awaited bachelor party of your dear blogger. Despite my best efforts, I am alive and well and slightly dehydrated. All the same, I had a great time and truly appreciate the efforts of everyone in making the weekend a memorable one for me. Understandably, several of my friends owe their wives/girlfriends a spa day or two for sticking them with the kids for a few days while they golfed, drank and recaptured college (if only for a few hours).

I would be remiss if I didn't single out my brother and best man, Jason, for putting this all together - he was a rock star and gave me what I told H was the perfect bachelor party for me - rooftop BBQ, golf (props to another groomsman, Steve, for putting together a solid invitational at Glencoe Golf Club), dinner...pass out. Yes, I did pass out. Hard. I am a shell of my former self. Most of the times its a blessing. This time it was a curse.

I don't know if it was the shots, the "t and stormy" or the beers, but by 11:30 PM - your bachelor was D-O-N-E. Oh well...pick more daisies, I guess. Phil - a college roommate - suggested that I was the worst bachelor since Andrew Firestone. While, I disagree that AF was the worst bachelor (Brad Womack, anyone?), I do agree that I let the team down - they all went out for another 2 hours in the neighborhood - I got 8 hours of sleep. Its a win-win, as far as I am concerned...lets just hope that I keep it together on the wedding day. That might be difficult if they serve tequila.

Your Blogger's Back...

I have received a lot of guff lately. Apparently, if you take 45 days off between posts, you are a real jerk...who knew? Its wonderful that I have such a great fan. What happened? I guess life got in the way. It seems like every morning I tell myself I am going to post something - but when its time for the rubber to meet the road, I decide that I probably should write something that gets me paid and allows me to keep my job - contract litigation is sexy.

Regardless. Michael Jordan said it in 1995. I'm saying it now: "I'm back."

In the next week or so, you should be ready to learn a lot. Invitations dropped last week. Thats kind of a big deal. My bachelor party is this weekend. Think docker's commercial with cheaper beer. H and I stayed up drinking last week and picked out music for the wedding...it was really good times - especially the part where we drunk dialed my Mom to see what song she wanted me to pick for the Mother/Son dance - she said "something by Frank Sinatra." Naturally.

Stay tuned - I'm at the controls and I promise to take you safely into the wedding day - its coming fast, but I think I can handle it.

Still kicking...

Fear not...H lived through her Bachelorette party last weekend. The girls have been pretty mum on the stories and no pictures have been leaked (which is fine) so all I have to go on is a 2:24 AM voicemail from H telling me that my sister-in-law is awesome, that they're eating burritos and to 'suck it' (she's so cute), but, from what I can tell, H had an amazing time and was extremely saddened by the end of the weekend.

I know its cheesy (or cheese-ass)(or whatever), but I was really touched that so many of the girls took time out of there lives and came into town to fete my future bride. Its really a testament to the friendships that they have and have maintained over the years. So, ladies, thank you. You mean so much to H and I am glad that she has friends like you in her life (to the ladies that could not make it, please know that I include you in this sentiment).

Thank you all again for loving my girl as much as I do.

Suck for a buck...

This weekend is H's bachelorette party...blurgh.

I'm kidding. Aside from the part in which I was politely asked to leave for the weekend, I am excited for H. She needs a weekend with her friends doing whatever it is that they do (usually screaming sing-a-songs and dancing to the Roots)(it doesn't matter where they are)(seriously). My understanding is that this is not going to be a typical Rush/Division bachelorette party with suck for a buck t.shirts, veils and phallic earrings...I love that this is not H's style. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with that style, its just so...gauche. The girls on "Bridezillas" do it this way - I'm just saying.

I can go either way on bachelor/bachelorette parties. I think they are a necessary evil to the process. H and I have talked about this more than I care to admit: I don't like the archaic view that this is the man/woman's "last night out as a single" - something that you see often with bachelor parties. Its so 80's in that Tom Hanks, donkey on amphetamines sort of way. I think that that ideology only encourages being a jackass and maybe makes the whole thing bigger than it needs to be. It doesn't have to be an "anything goes" or "whatever happens in Bar Chicago stays in Bar Chicago" sort of event. It should reflect the person they are meant to celebrate and not the other way around. (Admittedly, I am not a strip club guy - ipso facto - we're not going to a strip club for my party).

From what I can gather, this is a really well thought out and "H-esque" weekend centered on all the girls catching up and enjoying each other's company - with some woman's empowerment type activities thrown in. Big props to the MOH, Midge, who has been a rockstar planner. She seems to have everything covered and I can't tell you how much I appreciate her commitment to her maid of honor role.

So, ladies - have a great time this weekend, keep your tee shirts with lifesavers taped to them at home and call the guy from your gym that you want to jump out of a cake(?) and tell him to make other plans and just take care of my girl.

Man Code?

It appears that I have a preternatural ability to separate the wheat from the chafe - or in this case, the d from the bag. Last week while America was guffawing over Dave - the Midwest sweetheart who was so enamored with Jillian that he froze for 13 seconds when introducing himself- I said he looks like a bad drunk who takes off his shirt in bars before he gets in a fight. Dave - you're so predictable. Big pat on my back. H is always amazed (or annoyed) that I espouse to know a lot about men's personalities and their nefarious ulterior motives. But, with 3 brothers and 70 roommates (if you count every frat bro as a roommate) - I think I have seen it all. It was no surprise to me then that Dave was the typical small Midwest city meat head wanna be alpha dog who says things like "man code violation" when someone apparently doesn't do a shot of tequila. It was a surprise that there was a hint of homphobia in his ranting - considering these guys - including Juan, the man who has apparently drawn Dave's ire - are on a show seeking to date a woman. Brilliant. At least two recaps I read mentioned "Laramie" when describing this guy's ranting. Thats never good. America is scared. Be warned - this is not the last we have seen (and I am not just saying that because I saw next week's previews). I am guessing that there will be some subtle chest to chesting in next weeks episode. I wouldn't rule out a head-butt - like the one that Chad layed on BO-hio on the Tila Tequila show - wow.

Enough already - on to the show

Week two in the Bachelorette franchise is always interesting for me, the viewer. It is here that you start to see the personalities of the people (something that you can't even begin to tell in the first episode). Usually, this is not a good thing as most suitors don't really have a personality. Maybe thats why Jillian was so refreshing in the first place.

With that, it is clear that there are about 5 good dudes in this house and 12 spazzes, creeps, dweebs or dirtbags. Thankfully, Jillian has managed to keep the good guys in the house and even send a spaz (Bryan) and a creep (Julien) home to their mothers. Both of those guys bugged me last week. Julien with his side cocked head and Bryan with...well, him. Julien was pretty much out when he didn't get a date this week - Bryan (who smartly wore Snow's glasses from the hit video 'Informer') was dead in the water when he mistook the Bachelorette for "Paradise Hotel 2." Jesus fella. Keep em on.

I was saddened by the loss of Simon - the Brit. He was never going to win, but he was harmless and the out take of him misprounouncing 'hard' and then telling the other dudes that he was the only one who spoke proper english was funny.

Highlights/Lowlights

Once again, I won't really do much of a synposis of the episode. The internet is teeming with bachelorette blogs - I am not nearly as funny.

- Tanner and Mike the breakdancer in the mini-cooper was hilarious in that white trash "Deal or No Deal" screaming idiot sort of way.
- Seeing all the dudes on the first group date reminded me of my first ill fitting tux.
- Brad - from Chicago - is really bad. He seems like he is rude to waiters and cab drivers. Plus, he was wearing a burberry tie - I saw those at Filene's Basement a few weeks ago. You can't get anything past me Brad!
- As bad as Brad is - Wes is 10X worse. H said it best: that guy is 32 years old - why does his hair do that? He seems like those Moms on Real Housewives that are borrowing their 15 year old daughters clothes. Plus - the swoop in on some one-on-one time was jackassery 101. I will give him some credit - since he seems mildly 'touched' - and for the fact that he makes no apologies about it, but still. I really hope that he is gone in the next two episodes, but definitely have a feeling he'll be around to the Final 4 or 5.
- Jillian loves the booze. The producers may want to think about watering down her wine Jesus style.
- Speaking of our girl - she seems to be in two minds about what she wants - there are several clean cut dudes still in the house, whom she likes - but then there are some guys that are just rough - she calls them bad boys - I call them d-bags.
- We were really uncomfortable with the Jake jackhammer. I was half hoping that he would get punched in the sack for that move. He seems like a good enough guy - I, however, immediately distrust somebody that "wide eyed" though (and anybody that still wears pleated slacks). Stay tuned.
- The basketball game was funny...I remember when my body decided that my athletics were in my past.
- Big ups to Mike (who was no. 5 on my d-bag list last week). He totally redeemed himself with the speedo plunge.
-Juan is kind of out for us - while I don't condone how he was treated by Dave - he is kind of creepy.

Our roses

I still like Ed - but he had no screen time this week. So, we'll see. H likes Jesse, but points out that a guy like that would never hit on Jillian at a bar. He would be too busy harassing the waitress. Jillian seems to really like Kiptyn - H pointed out that he may be this year's Graham - the guy that stays around because he is good to look at. I throw my "Reid" hat in the ring. He showed a little bit this week. So, those guys, plus pleated pants Jake, I think round out our top fiver.

I think next week will be really telling - if she falls for the moonlight serenade by a 32 year old country western singer who probably owns at least 2 items of Hollister gear, then maybe we don't know our girl at all...

I now pronounce you...um...what?

One of the more interesting subplots to the wedding thing is the concept of identities and the fact that they arbitrarily change between the engagement - when you go from being the boyfriend/girlfriend to fiance/e as quickly as you can get her to say yes - and the wedding day. Since last September, neither H nor I have grown particularly comfortable calling each other the 'f' word - more traditionally opting for boyfriend or girlfriend, respectively. I thought this was a temporary stopgap until we get married - that the feeling of discomfort would subside when we get married and confirm as such in front of all our virtual friends on facebook with a relationship status change. Imagine my surprise when I learned that H can't yet wrap her head around calling me her husband. Its another word that just feels foreign to her. I am assuming that this comes from a long held belief that she would never "take a husband." Or that - for 30 months now I have been her "boyfriend" and that she resists change. We have been bandying about alternatives to call me (for the record, I am OK with calling her my wife). Here is what we have come up with so far (with my thoughts on each):

- Lover (too Jackie Collins)
- Partner (too androgynous)

- Boyfriend (not enough)
- life-partner (too new-agey)
- Guy she married (too much like a Kevin James Sitcom) - plus, could you imagine that moment when the Judge pronounces us "guy she married and wife" - it doesn't sound right.

So, where do we go from here? I think this is one of those small instances where it is clear that I am just more traditional than H. I see no real problem with this transition. Does she? I ultimately do not think so - maybe she was just having one of those moments where words just seem funny sounding.

"Chet. Chet." (OK - that one was for one person who I know reads this blog).

Hiatus

H and I took a much needed hiatus from all things wedding this weekend and instead decided to celebrate a real holiday - my 32nd birthday. I think this was important (not the birthday stuff - there have been points in the last year that I have forgotten how old I am), but rather, a weekend like a normal couple doing normal things and talking about something other than the wedding. I think there is a shared fear between H and I that we are going to get married and there is going to be this lull because we don't have the wedding to plan. Its silly, we know, but, seriously, we talk about it... a lot. Its not to say we don't enjoy the conversation. One of my favorite nights this year was doing the Save the Date cards - we split a bottle (or three) of wine and sat around the dining room table listening to music and talking about the wedding.

But, the wedding is one day, and we have a lifetime ahead of us. So, with that said, it was nice to have a date weekend - complete with fancy dinners, day drinking, birthday parties, dance parties, late night burritos and hangovers. For three days, at least, we didn't have the wedding hanging over our heads and that was - in a word - nice.

I won't go into all the details - I will actually go into very little detail - only to say that, once again, H nailed it on my birthday dinner (and breakfast)(she somehow got up at 6 AM with me and made me waffles and turkey sausage). For dinner, we went to the Publican in the West Loop. It was outstanding - just my kind of place. The menu, the crowd and the vibe were all perfect. I think H and I were unsure how I would handle the community seating approach (think giant dinner party), but we were seated at a corner of a large table - which felt extremely intimate. Our server was extremely cordial and the food (the dover sole and the mussels) was remarkable. I would recommend it to anyone that asks.

Thank you Bubs - you're the best

Yikes - at least there was breakdancing.

As embarrassing as it sounds, make no mistake about it - H and I are big Jillian Harris Fans. I am guessing that most of you have no effing clue who Jillian Harris is - thats OK. Unless you are addicted to catastrophic reality match making shows like the Bachelor franchise, you probably shouldn't know who she is. She was the big winner in the Jason Mesnick sweepstakes last season on the Bachelor - by big winner, I mean, she was in the top three and was not chosen. Now - as the fates and America will have it, she is this season's "Bachelorette."

H and I thought it would be funny if I kind of reviewed the show (each week? maybe? If I have the energy). Please know that between her and I there is a 120 minute running commentary in the house - so this recap is as much her as it is me. Admittedly, I watched the Bachelor before meeting H. I think I started sometime in the Andrew Firestone season and have been a semi-regular viewer since then. I do think, however, that it is funny what my television regimen has become. Lets just say I definitely know what happened on the Real Housewives of New Jersey last night, but do not know the Cubs' score. The things we give up for co-habitation. There are currently 4 "Whose Wedding is it Anyway?" and 3 "Say Yes to the Dress!" episodes on our DVR right now...and 'we' plan to watch all of them (I usually fall asleep unless the wedding planner/dress buyer is especially bitchy).

That said, H and I are Bachelorette watchers and were glued to the television Monday night as 30(!) suitors vied for national exposure...and Jillian's heart - who says you can't have both!?! I have read other blogs/recaps of the episode - their thoughts were pretty much spot-on. For a full recap, you have to read the TV Watch one - she is hilarious. I will do my very best to avoid stealing her thoughts/quips on this episode...and I don't have the notes or skill to remember who is who - H and I know who we like thus far and who we don't like. There are a few that we are up in the air on and a few that we definitely think are closeted. I swear the whole "meet the stags" portion of the show was like an ambiguously gay workout video. Each one of these guys is good looking and each had at least an 8-pack stomach (I think Kiptyn's abs had little abs). Is this what reality TV has come to? I am paraphrasing something I heard on a Sports Guy podcast - but, this season of the Bachelorette and the Road Rules/Real World Challenge may prompt the television execs that be to start drug testing. These dudes are all jacked - where do they find the time? Is there a secret reality TV ranch style workout facility where these guys spend 8 hours a day doing sit-ups? It can't be natural.

That aside - I know its the first episode and that we don't really know anything about these dudes (note - almost all of these guys are dudes or bros - very few are actually men), but I am serious when I say that I don't see that many potential good guys for Jillian (or anyone else really). During the Mesmick season, H and I earmarked both Melissa, Naomi and Jillian right off the bat - Molly was the dark horse. And what do you know - Mellissa, Naomi and Jillian were in the final four. The Deanna season, H was immediately smitten with Jeremy and we had a feeling that Mesnick and Graham would go far - again - what do you know? This season is going to be a little more difficult.

First off - I have read in two places that people like Stephen (?) - the lawyer from NY. Our immediate reaction was "d-bag." Now - I am a lawyer and I will say this - most lawyers that just got out of law school are complete tools - present company included. I cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how big of a d-bag I was right after I graduated. I routinely found myself half-drunk on Friday mornings and on Rush & Division at 4 AM or wearing wristbands and yelling Pearl Jam lyrics at strangers from a moving cab. Note to all ladies - newly admitted lawyers are all ego maniacs that need their ass kicked (PSA over).

Also - Dave, the guy she gave the first impression rose to - Really?!? I Guarantee that he is a bad drunk and gets into someone's face this season. He just seems aggressive in that 'I take my shirt off at bars and get in fights' sort of way. Not good.

Speaking of shirts - who dresses these guys? Please tell me that they didn't do this to themselves. I am a firm believer that there are only a few colored shirts that should be worn with a suit - white, pale blue and pink. I swear, I think the Sopranos made dudes feel it was cool to wear some gawd awful colored shirts - shout out to Tanner in his electric green - nice choice Bro. It seems weird that someone who has fashion sense like Jillian has some of these jamokes as her suitors. I guess if it isn't a tank top (to show off tribal band tattoo) then these bros are toast.

My First Impression Rose

So - who do we like? I think the Pilot - Jake - stands a chance. Though - he seemed creepy - creepy like "I have a second family in Tuscon and they don't know that I am here, but I had to be here to meet you, Jillian" sort of way. He is just waaay too into her for such a short period of time. I liked the breakdancer. He might be young. Juan was cool - but he has that "follow you into every room you go into"/"Sleeping with the Enemy" quality about him. We'll see how this pans out.

My pick thus far would be Ed from Chicago (represent. Represent). He seems solid and the fact that he doesn't know who Jillian is, is probably a good thing. Plus - he shares a name with and kind of looks like "Ed" from the tv show - "Ed" - not ever a bad thing.

I will update with H's pick - but for some reason, I thought it was Jake. Or Jesse the winemaker (speaking of wine - Tuesday night's Housewives when the Jersey girl said "lets go get some more char - doe- naaay" I expected to see a box of wine)(That show is nuts)(new money...hurrumph). Or whatever.

Highlights/Lowlights

I won't go too far into the scene by scene recap.
- Much has been made of the foot fetish guy - hey man, whatever. Let the freak flag fly. I would be more concerned with the sequined coat he was wearing.
- If Greg is a Bilbro on the scale from One to Bilbro - then what is someone who is actually taller than Jillian (I'm sorry - I am obsessed with being tall. I bragged to H several times how empowering being the tallest guy in the elevator is)(I rule).
- Wes the Country singer is toast. As an aside - anyone who brings their guitar to a reality Tv show - or on any date - is a d-bag.
- If James Spader from "Pretty in Pink" and that aggressive Equestrian guy from "Mad Men" got together and had a baby and that baby made another baby with Bright Eyes - and that baby had a $30 gift certifcate to H&M - you would have Kyle the graphic designer from Brooklyn. That is not a compliment.
- The Dance off was awesome - better than the dance off at the beginning of "Stomp the Yard."
- The "you ARE a catch" guy was harmless - and greasy.
- Julian the restaurant guy was pretty rough - I think someone told him that sheepishly talking with your head down and tilted to the side is endearing. I am here to tell him its not. Plus - nice car. Nerd. When is the lease up on that bad boy?
- With all this competetion it was hard to pick the biggest turd in the toliet - then I remembered Bryan from Atlanta/Alabama. I don't know about the girls out there - but any time you mix chauvenism, xenophobia and obnoxiousness ("hot tub harris")(really?) you have yourself a winner. The fact that she gave him a rose makes me think that she was pretty drunk by the end of the night and mixed up the Bryans and then said - "whatever - they're both gone by week two anyway..."

Will Jillian find love? I don't know. I will be sure to let you know - right after I make fun of the dude she picks.

Thinking (Thomas) Pink...

I should have learned this lesson a long time ago. I am not a rookie. I have been back in Chicago for seven years - even living within a John Daly tee shot from Michigan Avenue for five of those years - how did I think shopping on a Sunday afternoon when it was 65 degrees and sunny outside would turn out? My bad...actually - it was their bad - and by "their" I mean the customer 'service' representatives from Saks for Men, Bloomingdales, Brooks Brothers, Kenneth Cole and Hugo Boss. H and I are so sorry to have bothered you.

I have a birthday coming up - I will be 32 this Friday. Hold the applause and the zippy happy birthday song. As a gift - H wants to buy some of the items needed to complete my wedding 'look' - including the shirt, a pocket square and my tie. Normally, she could handle this - but because I have taken special care with what I have bought thus far for the wedding and because as of today I have lost 35 pounds (!) - I needed to go with her to get re-sized and pick out what I was feeling.

We have been so busy the last few weeks between Mothers Day weekend, my mom's surgery (she is Ok) and general wedding planning, that Sunday was the day for us. And - what a day it was. I would love to pick on each store and their employees. I explained to each one that I was getting married and wanted a quality slim-fit white dress shirt to go with my suit - and that my sugar mama (who was with me) would be purchasing it. We screamed "ready to buy." Unfortunately, nobody was ready to sell. Odell at Bloomingdales was nice enough to take my measurements - he couldn't be bothered to find me a shirt to actually try on. Peter from Saks on Michigan was too busy tinkering with lyrics for his next emo/garage rock album to actually be bothered. The guy at Brooks Brothers - I forgot his name - showed us to the pocket squares and left. Not to be outdone, the guy at Kenneth Cole didn't know what a pocket square was...and finally - Hugo Boss - I walked around store for 20 minutes and couldn't even find a sales representative. Well played.

I wonder if we went on a weekday whether we would have been treated better. I am not making excuses for these jackenapes, but I imagine that they get every Wes, Mark and Dunbar (obvious MTV Real World references) from Schaumburg coming in on the weekend and not buying a thing. I am guessing they're a little desensitized from it all. Knowing this, I was careful to point out that we live down the street and that we should know better than to shop on a weekend. That apparently didn't matter (I do need to give props to Eric at Paul Stuart - he was great)(the collar on the shirt wasn't).

Which leads me to this sage piece of advice - the Thomas Pink store at Macy's on State Street is a lifesaver. I popped in there after work yesterday and was immediately greeted by Crystal - I explained to her what I was looking for and low and behold - she grabbed it for me (as well as a size up and a size down). I tried it on and got her reaction and she put it on hold for H to pick up - this took 15 minutes - tops. Unreal. Obviously, I am happy - I wasn't ready for the tremendous disappointment of visiting high end and high middle ended stores and being treated like a second class citizen - so this made up for it. It felt good to matter again.

Next weekend I am going to get all dressed up in my suit (which is now complete) - walk in to each store and say it:

"Big. BIG mistake. Huge!"

Update

If you missed the update below- NEP posted our engagement photos on their blog. All I can really say is that we think that they are amazing and are so happy that we went in this direction. Both H and I really believe that Nate captured who we are with the photos and we cannot wait to see what he does as an encore at the wedding.

While the on-line view is remarkable, what is truly unbelievable is that they look even better when printed. My mom has already ordered a few hundred dollars worth of the photos and I am staring at one of them right now on my desk as I type this. If you have any interest in seeing the whole catalog of photos - please let me know and I can send you the link.